Akrasia is a state of not doing what you want to do and what you must do, even when they seem so important. This term is a Greek word that was coined many years ago by some philosophers. This concept could be traced to philosophers, Socrates, Plato and Aristotle, who had a thing or two to say regarding this subject. Its literal meaning is “lack of self-control” or “lack of command for oneself”.
You don't know why, but you're just stuck. You know what steps to take but you're not taking action. As a result you procrastinate, or overthink the process and do nothing about it. You can't get yourself to get up, nor push yourself to take action.
Besides procrastination, akrasia helps you lose opportunities. You just push over and over till you don't even do anything about it. It seems like some forces are after you.
“Akrasia is even worse than procrastination.” - She actually inspired me to write this post.
Photo credit: Olajumoke Oyeyemi via Linkedin
Well, if you didn't know why you were, let me tell you. It is a sign of lack of self respect.
Yes, you read that right. You don't respect yourself!
"But I love myself, I take care of myself, don't engage or put myself in a disadvantageous position."
Let me break it it down for you;
Have you ever worked with someone, whom you so much revered? He is an accomplished entrepreneur, has so much money, speaks with so much wisdom, well respected by many. He has a track record of success. He's been awarded as one of the most influential men in the world. Everything they asked you to do, you did swiftly. You are in so much awe of them. You'll almost put your hand in a flame of fire even if they asked you to. You respect them so much. You can do almost anything for them.
On the other hand, have you had someone that you didn't respect? It could be a friend, an acquaintance, a co-worker, a classmate, a beggar, anyone. Perhaps the person begs too much, lies too much, doesn't take care of himself, doesn't do his job well. I know I've asked you to respect people. But you can't help but feel distasteful of such people. You don't hate them, but you can't get yourself to follow their advice, no matter how noble it may sound. You'll feel so absurd to be running errands for such a person. Even if the person is elderly or superior, you'll find yourself dragging, and you won't even take it as a priority task. Sometimes, you'd rather not even pay attention to them. You'd hardly do anything for them.
Compare those two scenarios. Who do you respect more? Of course, the first person. Now, look at yourself, mirror yourself, how do you treat yourself? Like the first person or the second person?
When you decide to do something, do you follow through with it, or you procrastinate? Do you act in a haste, or you dilly dally? Do you trust your guts or do you always overthink, asking everyone else for advice? How do you really see yourself - a change agent or just some ordinary person?
And on a much more relatable level, it comes down to how you dress, the kinds of clothes you wear, the food you eat, the friends you keep, the movies you watch, the places you go to, the way you treat your health. Do you take care of your body? Do you take care of your environment? Do you prioritize wisdom over material things? Look at these things, and check how well you respect yourself.
I hope you can see what I mean?
The relationship between Akrasia and Self Respect
Respect has to do a lot with the thoughts and image you attach to a person. Most times it has to do with achievements and status. So you basically respect people for what they have and what they have achieved. And when it comes to self respect, it's all about the status and achievements you have that makes you do what you do. When you don't respect yourself then it's a sign that you don't believe so much in your status, neither are you content with it. Ultimately, respect, either to yourself or others, determines what you do for them.
If you want to get rid of Akrasia, or any of its fruits, then you need to respect yourself. But of course, it's not a crash course that you'll learn in 6 minutes. You have to learn to respect yourself.
Self respect is an umbrella with many children - self esteem, self discipline, self image. To learn to respect yourself, you need to break it down.
Self esteem
Self esteem is what you think of yourself. it's the way you see yourself. Do you see yourself as a slave or a free man? Do you see yourself as a genius or a dullard? Do you see yourself as a wealthy or a poor person? Do you see yourself as beautiful/handsome or ugly? How do you see yourself?
The way you see yourself or think of yourself determines by a long shot, what you do and how you live your life.
Self discipline
This Is the product of your decisions. Can you talk to yourself and take action? Can you decide to refrain from something and you'll refrain? Here's something I've explained about self discipline.
Truly, now that you know it's a problem of self respect, you may feel like You just need to meditate on your image, and re-align, and you'd be more disciplined, but far from it. You have to learn to respect yourself. It takes time.
*Learning to respect myself by Fayokemi*
My personal battle with Akrasia and my journey to self respect
I was facing a similar issue some months ago. I knew I wasn't disciplined enough. I knew I just wasn't living the life I wanted even when I saw the potential and everything before me. I was in the state of Akrasia!
I came across Fayokemi's video on Learning to respect myself, and I gained more insight into the issue I was having, the challenge I was facing, and it was much easier to know which pills were the best to treat my condition.
*You can watch the entire Learning Series too.
How did I cope?
Well, I'm still learning to respect myself. I'm still learning to be more disciplined, however, I am much better than I used to be. To be honest, I relapse sometimes, procrastinate and not take action even when I need to. But like I said, I'm still learning to respect myself. All in all, here's what has helped me:
Make a small decision and stand by it
Lack of self respect can ultimately mean that you are not in charge of your life, that you cannot say "I will do this today", and you'll actually do it.
For you to begin the process of self respect, you need to start small. You need to *take baby steps*. It's very important that you do, and you don't start with an elaborate or complex plan.
Make it as simple as possible. Can't get yourself to read a book? Then try to read one page in one day. That small. Can't be up to 1000 words, can it? Just small activities. All that matters is that you make that decision and you stand by it. I will read one page today, and no matter what happens, I will do it.
You can make smaller decisions too to charge you up. "I will change the position of my pillow; from the left side to the right side." Make small, bit sized decisions that will not task your brain at all. Do it as many times as you can in a day. Do it for a whole week. Make many small unrelated decisions in your day, and stand by them. Drink water, wash your face, lay your bed, or do something you enjoy.
It could be harder to decide to renovate your bedroom and stand by it. That's even more dangerous to your self respect. It might ruin all the respect you have built for yourself if you mess up. You have to build your self respect from the ground up. Just keep taking as many small, little decisions as possible and follow through with them. Make sure they are not uncomfortable. Make them easy. Don't stretch your willpower too much. Make it simple, make it easy, and stand by them.
Do this for one week, and keep track of your progress everyday. Then you can switch things up, go for harder tasks, and stand by them. Systematically, make sure you're taking up bigger challenges, bigger tasks, and you are on your way to become unstoppable.
Journaling
This is the second step you need to take. Write down how your day went, what decisions you took, how you stood by them. Journal your journey to self respect. What challenges did you face? How did you feel after making those decisions and following through? Happy, energized, ready, free?
You can take your time to journal as your day goes by. Or you can just wait at night to make an entry of how your day went. You can use phone apps to record and journal, or you can have a hard cover to record your experiences, your challenges and your wins.
Whatever it is, make sure you are journalling. Make sure you are keeping track of your progress. Make sure you're keeping tabs. Don't miss a day. Keep going, everyday. Watch your self respect grow. Watch your discipline grow. Watch yourself become unstoppable.
From time to time, you can revisit earlier entries, maybe a week or a month old, to reimagine how you felt at the beginning, the journey you started, and where you're going ultimately. As you journal, you'll find yourself doing it as often as possible, and you'll not even want to stop.
Reward yourself
This is a tricky one. It's as good as hacking a habit, but it's quite different. If you want to earn your respect, after following step 1 and 2, you should reward yourself. But here's the catch - reward yourself rarely.
The truth is, you can't deceive your brain into believing that you respect yourself or anyone. It's just gratification that can fade anytime. You can trick your brain when you're trying to unlearn or learn a new habit, but not with self respect. The question now is how does reward come in?
Well, you don't reward yourself for just making small decisions and standing by them. The primary purpose of making it small is to give you a boost, give you a feel of achievement, and that's a reward in itself. I have two suggestions on when you can reward yourself and what you can reward yourself with:
Reward yourself after 30 straight days
I'm sure you're journalling, so you can tell how long you're into it. I'll also advise that you maybe have a check box of 30 days like a to-do list. For every day you make small decisions and stand by them, you tick the box.
*Picture of to-do*
You keep going on and on, until you reach the 30th day. And if I must add, why 30 days? Well, it's long enough for you to get tired and quit, and long enough to also build your will power and your decision making power. By the time you're on your 30th day, you'll feel way different than you felt on your 1st day.
Indulge yourself a little, make the decision, take charge of the decision, reward yourself while you are still building your self respect. Afterwards, prepare for the next 30 days and see how much you'll grow.
Reward yourself after big milestones
I mentioned that you can switch things up a little, especially after seven (7) days of making relatively the smallest decisions and standing by them. But in line with the first, don't reward until after your first 30 days. If you have begun to go from laying my bed and doing it, to renovating my room to doing it, then you deserve a pat on the back. This reward is more deserving when the task becomes more uncomfortable and you have to stretch your will power.
Reward yourself, within the confines of respect for yourself. Go back and read earlier entries of your journal to see how far you've grown. (And don't you dare stop journaling - ever!)
Be accountable
I believe anything that has to do with personal development shouldn't be done alone. You should not do this alone. Have friends or even acquaintances that have a similar challenge, and rally round each other to solve this problem. Try to see the light together. Check on yourselves, making sure none of you gives up.
You can join a community of personal development enthusiasts, and you'll find people who are enthusiastic about making better decisions, learning self respect and shining their lights as much as they can in this world.
Whatever it is, make sure you are accountable to someone or a group of people. Don't walk alone.
Wrap up
Akrasia has imprisoned many people, disallowing them from making the right decisions and following their stars. It has pushed people to procrastinate their good luck away and feel so much regret and pity for their lives. However, the true captor isn't Akrasia, but a lack of self respect.
I believe you now see why you need to develop your self respect, the ways to look at it, and how to do it. And I must emphasize again, this is not a crash course, neither is it a quick fix. It takes time and dedication.
Make sure you're taking baby steps, documenting your progress, rewarding yourself within the confines of respect for yourself, and being accountable.
I know this is a lot, and you may need to come back to this time and again. Feel free to bookmark this page, and drop your comments. Ask questions, debate with me, add to the discussion, and make an effort to learn more on this subject.
Here again, if you wish to join our community of personal development enthusiasts and changemakers, join us here: https://bit.ly/thegloryhavencommunity
Till next time!
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Thanks! 😇