Please, our so-called 'feminists' should stop brainwashing their fellow feminine from experiencing the joy of commitment, companionship and marriage. Many ladies have come out to say they are Feminists! Are all feminists? Or are they practicing the ideology the right way?
Who is a feminist?
A feminist is a person who believes in 'Feminism'. Feminism is the belief that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men.
Mind you, a man can also be feminist, because the idea of feminism is about bringing gender balance, gender equality.
Today, feminism has been pushed further than gender equality. It is now conceived as making women 'more powerful' than men (After all, what a man can do, a woman can do better). Women should be respected I say, but they must also respect the man.
In today's world, the idea of feminism has not just ignored the fact that men should be respected just as the women (that's what feminists fight for), but goes on to attack the masculine gender. You hear things like: Men are scum; men are wicked; men don't love; men should never be trusted; and so on. But are these true? It has become an invisible label on every man. They have generalised their belief.
You are fighting for 'Gender Equality', not inequality. It is not an ideology to treat men badly, but to bring up equal respect and privileges for women just like the men. It is not a war. Feminism is about woman power, to create an inclusion strategy for women. Feminism is an ideology against discrimination based on gender. The feminine gender should be respected as the masculine gender is. They should have equal rights or privileges to opportunities.
This ideology, theoretically, brings about fairness and objectivity. It gives no room for gender preference or gender-based problems. It is an ideology for 'Gender balance'.
Feminism today
Feminism today is on a different level. It is more than empowering the feminine gender, taking the feminine gender to a par level as the masculine. It has hence become an aggressive revolution. We have also failed to recognize the fact that there are gender roles.
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| Source: Human Rights Careers |
Like I said, Feminism has taken a different route. The ladies are taking the issue overboard. They have decided to ignore the gender roles 'dictated by society and culture'. Of course, the society has dictated what roles the man and woman play in the society.
We should understand that men and women cannot play the same roles in the society all the time, which is why we were made differently. We must also know that what feminists practice all around the world differs. Culture differs from region to region, so does our practice of feminism, even without destroying the base meaning of feminism. Or hindering the power it houses.
We should see this issue equally, not to start maltreating another party. Gender roles will always exist, a woman does not plant the seed of pregnancy, and also gives birth. The man plants the seed, the woman germinates and nurtures it, till it becomes a baby. We need each other.
We have to come to understanding of how it should be done in each family. Feminism in its entirety should not dictate how each family operates. The family dictates for itself. It dictates the roles of each member.
So, one woman from nowhere should not now start inciting 'negative vibes' in a happy family. She will now say that women should not cook for their husbands. That they should not do domestic work at home, all because we are equal! See, every family has its peculiar modus operandi (mode of operation), gender roles exist as they want it to. Let's respect that.
Because of all the bad eggs in the ideological approach, some ladies are scared of identifying with the movement. Some others don't really understand what it is about, but they just jump on the train.
I don't have a problem with the theoretical feminism, but I have problems with the way it is practiced - the wrong way.
Feminism in marriage
Many women remain feminists while in marriage. (It is perfectly normal to be the theoretical feminist). They have this belief of being the boss, being self-sufficient, and all of that. No man can run me oo; No man cannot just be commanding me anyhow oo; I cannot depend on any man oo. You're not wrong to believe in self-dependency, people are hard to trust these days.
However, many ladies have lost sight of what marriage means, or what value it holds. They have forgotten the need for love, commitment, support. They now fix eyes on power. Marriage is no longer what used to be. That's why we always hear of divorce cases all over. Marriage is no longer a matter of commitment, but convenience. The ladies, boss ladies cannot take rubbish. They have forgotten the need to forgive your spouse when issues arise. Love is what should attract two people not any other. Divorce cases aren't heard of among women with lower social status, but always among celebrities and high-profiled individuals. I think it is due to information that the boss ladies have. They are more enlightened on feminism, and the no nonsense attitude is inherited.
The cruelty, audacity, guts, boldness comes with the belief. It is what is passed around, like fake news and rumours. They forget the need to love, but cannot forget that bad act by their spouse. It has become something else today.
We need to recognize gender roles in marriage, like individuals in the society have their peculiarity. Marriages have their peculiarity, which should dictate its gender roles. What should be consistent in every marriage is the commitment and submission of spouses to one another. Some ladies don't respect their spouses because they are 'feminists'. If that's the case, then to hell with feminism!
Commitment and Submission in a relationship makes it work. Submission does not make you less of a person. It is a sign of respect. Spouses must respect their partners. (Ephesians 5:21-24).
Well, I am not a marriage counsellor. I am not married, but it is what I have rightly observed, and I must point it out.
My money is my money, your money is our money!
How can you say such? How can you think such? Yet, you don't want to cook for your husband. You believe he is the breadwinner. He should bring all the money, and you chop. You have marginalised your roles as a wife, yet still recognise that the man has his roles. You must be a joker.
Feminism is about gender equality, not for the women to turn out as so cruel and intolerable. In marriage, both parties should support each other, share what they have, not having to become parasitic. Equality can only manifest when you support each other, not when one bosses so much over the other.
Of course, marriages and companionships have their unique terms, conditions and agreements, but that does not mean you should not love and support your man. Be fair, feel love, be happy, share love, support, help other people, don't poison hearts, be glad, be cheerful, because we are just sojourners on Earth.
How Feminism should be practised
I must give kudos to the women and men who practise feminism rightly. They have done a great job. Some go the extra mile to debunk the false feminism ideology. Feminism is really just putting men and women equal in the eyes of the society. A man can cook, a woman can cook. Such activities should not be stereotyped as a woman's job.
Shola and Patrick applied for a job as Factory Supervisor in RTY Ltd. Shola - (the lady), and Patrick (the man) applied for the job, and were shortlisted among many applicants as the final two. They both took the tests and graced interviews. In the end, Shola got a better score than Patrick. While deliberations were on in the boardroom…
Mr. W: Shola is not the right person for the job. She is a woman, she will not be able to command so much respect.
Mr. X: Why would you say so? You mean that… after she had passed all the hurdles of interview and test? … Forget it, she is obviously the better one.
Mrs. M: I agree with you Mr. X. She is worthy of the role. I don’t know why Mr. W has doubts.
Mr. W: (now furious) Because she is a woman! Do you expect the men there to listen to a woman? Do you expect them to respect her?
Mrs. M: Don't people respect me in this organisation? Am I not worthy of it?
Mr. W: Yes na, you are. It is because you're already a big woman.
Mr. X: She is a woman! She proved to us that she is capable, she deserves it. Let's give it to her. Any other observation?
All members: No!
Shola got the job, not because she was a woman, but because she earned it. Also, without feminists like Mr. X and Mrs M, she may have lost her opportunity, and maybe thought she was not good enough.
Feminists and Ladies must not feel discouraged whatsoever. A man and a woman should be able to get opportunities on merit, and not because of their gender.
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Thanks! 😇