Betrayed by your intelligence

Perhaps, I’m the only person in the whole wide world who feels this way - betrayed by my own intelligence. For me (and maybe you), I always seem to have this idea that I’m good, and I can get excellent results with my intelligence. And this ‘idea’ puffs me up a bit, makes me feel super and on top, until... execution.

Now, I’m face-to-face with the job at hand, and in that moment I realize I need tools, resources, help from people, and a bunch of other helps that I don’t have, and I didn’t think that I needed. Knowing this alone throws me off balance by many miles, and I get overwhelmed even before I start. In that same moment, I realize that I may have overestimated myself. Or I have underestimated the task before me. But who’s to blame? Me?

Betrayal is cold

Well, you see, anytime I’m faced with a challenge or situation, I have this habit of weighing how skilled or competent I am to handle it, and trying to measure how much I know, and the grounds or gaps I still need to cover. But then I always seem to overestimate myself, and it gets me overwhelmed every time. Well, not always. I still always have sufficient energy to handle it. But I’m sure you get the point.

For a moment, let me give you a chance to be part of my world - “The 1 in 8 billion club”. Have you ever had a task to do, and thought “Oh, it’s just this, that, this place, that way, and we would get this?” But when you actually take on the task, you see that it’s much more than what you thought it would be (not that you were wrong), you just overestimated your abilities or underestimated the task/project.

And now, you feel flushed, overwhelmed, and it’s almost like you’re carrying a heavy weight. And if you’re part of the 6 billion who love to procrastinate, or have the 'deadline syndrome', seeing the task is just this and that, you push it until the last minute. Now it’s last minute, and you don’t have so much time to call for help or put too much together. You feel pressured. You probably submit a sloppy work (that doesn’t define your abilities), or you submit late, past the deadline (which is not good for work relationship). But what choice did you have? You were betrayed by your intelligence.

It feels cool, right? To see how it feels like to be in my world. It’s not always cool. To be bitten by the same thing you feed is not cool.

I’m constantly reading, challenging myself, trying to shape my mind, my confidence, my intelligence. I try to make sure it gets the best treatment ever. But what do I end up with? Betrayal! How savage? It’s not cool, it’s cold!

Protect yourself from betrayal

They say: “Once bitten, twice shy.” Hmmmm. It sounds deep just now, and so shallow at the same time. But here’s how it applies to my peculiar betrayal saga: Don’t trust your intelligence all the time. It can betray you. Of course, I’ve been bitten once, twice, thrice, and more ices than I can even count, but now I say no more!!! I need to put on a betrayal-proof helmet.

Your intelligence is everything you know and think you know. And what determines how much you are likely to rely on your intelligence are quite a number, but it has nothing (assumingly and absolutely nothing) to do with your IQ. For most of it, you are more likely to trust your intelligence based on the past. How have you been able to handle stuff in the past? How well did it go? Or how you relate with people. So people might say this about you, and tell you “Oh, you’re brilliant,” and all that shiny stuff. It’s good. But the effects, you begin to think you know. This external validation pumps you up, builds your esteem and confidence, and now you begin to feel super like I do. (I’m actually a real life super hero).

And not to wash down what you know or what you don’t, it’s just how it works. If you’re actually intelligent, perhaps, you may not be betrayed just as much. But then, I think it’s important we all have betrayal-proof helmets, so we won’t have to test the waters. And feel the cold heart of betrayal.

What’s this betrayal-proof helmet?

For a start, this ‘helmet’ could work for other kinds of potential betrayals (not just intelligence), and it might not. You just have to be intelligent about it.

Now, let’s look at this betrayal-proof helmet together. It’s made of several components that just make it easy for you. Let me put on my wisdom hat.

1. Self Awareness

For a start, you should be self-aware. The number one reason why our intelligence can betray us so brazenly isbecause we don’t know ourselves enough. And because we don’t know ourselves enough, we tend to overestimate our abilities. And when we overestimate, the crash is always so crazy. So, put more effort on knowing yourself - your skills, your talent, your personality. Take tests, volunteer, give yourself enough room to learn about yourself and what you can do. That way they’ll be no surprises, and you can easily and more accurately measure what you can and what you can’t.

2. Be Realistic

Another thing I’d love you to consider is just be more realistic. “Life’s a b***h,” so they say. Anything can happen at anytime. Make room for that. I have a set of 10 commandments for work (they are actually like 14 so...), and one of them says “Thou shalt always underpromise (and overdeliver).” Let’s forget the second part for now. I learnt this from my first internship, then from Richard Templar’s book “The Rules of Work”. Just be realistic. Don’t go around promising heaven and earth, especially when it’s not yours to promise. Promise success, promise a better life, promise what you can actually deliver (and perhaps go a bit lower). The “a bit lower” is your safety. It’s the helmet. You really don’t know what you might meet until you’re in it. You really don’t know how it might feel when you’re in it. So underpromise. And yeah, overdeliver and blow their minds off later on, especially if you can. Exceed expectations. It’s better to underpromise and deliver on that than to over-promise and deliver below that. But best of all is actually “underpromise and overdeliver.”

3. Be Humble

See, number three for me is humility. You’re wearing a helmet for a reason. It’s not like your skull is not strong, the helmet just makes the damage less (if at all there is any). Be humble enough to ask questions, ask for help, seek for a second opinion. Don’t let your intelligence deceive you, pump you up, and lead you to think you’re more than you actually are, or you can do more than you actually can. Get objective opinions, second thoughts, be humble enough. Don’t be too arrogant, or it’ll be your intelligence laughing at you when you’re at rock bottom! Balance things out. Is the task actually that simple and straight forward? Am I really that good? Question your own opinion and thoughts, and probe further. Be wise, be humble, be safe.

4. Be Proactive

And lastly, “Get the damn job done.” Don’t wait till the last minute. Even if you think the task is easy and should not take time, break it down, and start ASAP. The faster you complete it, the more time you have to review, and have fun (if that’s your thing). And yeah, doing this will keep surprises far away from you. So stop procrastinating. Don’t wait till deadline is close. Build a strong work ethic. It will go a long long way. 

One more thing

Now, I need you to understand that this is not about whether you are intelligent or not, or whether you don’t think you are as intelligent as you are. Here’s me telling you, whispering in your ear, “be real, fam. Life’s a real donkey. You should be too.” Don’t live in Fantasy Land. Don’t live in Rainbow Camp. Don’t live in Coney Island. Open your eyes, be real, your intelligence may just be the end of you!

And to you, who’s been betrayed by your intelligence time and time again. Don’t beat yourself too much for not seeing its cold tricks. It doesn’t have any emotions, so you should understand. Don’t stay down or disappointed. Pick yourself up, and win the next battle. Be a good person, keep feeding your intelligence. It will help you in the long run, but also be weary of its backstabbing rep. Shine your eyes, learn more about yourself, be real, be humble, and be sure to always get the damn job done.

Can’t wait to see you win.

Gee